Post date behaviour

Dating just doesn’t stop after the date. The original motive of the date is to see if you click with that person or not. So after the date, you have a fair idea of whether you want to see more of that person or just maintain the relationship on cordial terms. This needs some contemplation on both the people’s part and lot of thinking. Don’t jump into conclusions for it is too short a sample time for you to actually decide on something. The first date should only give you an idea whether to take it further or not.

For the guys:
Send her a message thanking her for the pleasant time immediately after the date. This is courtesy. After this, the waiting period starts. If you aren’t too interested in her, you could just be friends and see where the relationship goes. But if you feel there is something between you and her, you will have to be careful about your next step. Don’t be too desperate to call her after the date even if you feel you will stop breathing if you don’t talk to her. Give her some space and even you need time to understand that fuzzy feeling. Do not take to your cell phone for text messages either. SMS with its shortened form of every word can be misread or in some cases not understood by the receiver. So save her this trouble. Wait for a minimum of a day or two before you make your first post date call. Keep the conversation short and to the point. Do not beat around the bush and don’t let your nervousness show in your voice. This conversation should consist of general enquiry and a mild hint of suggesting another date. All those endless conversations lasting hours can wait till you have had your next couple of dates.
Also be aware of what the other person is feeling. She may not be interested in you and you can make out by the intonation in her voice. Another hint of disinterest is that she won’t be attending your calls. May be she is genuinely busy. Leave her a message, and if she is really interested, she will by any means call you back.

For the girls:
If you are not interested, make it very clear to him so that either of you does not waste more time on this relationship. This way, both he and you are clear to look for the right person elsewhere. Keep the communication clear.
If you feel this relationship may head somewhere and have a tiny butterfly fluttering in you stomach every time you think about him (which if you like him, will be all the time), then wait for him to make the first move. Do not call him immediately for it is a sign of insecurity and neediness and guys generally don’t like it. After he calls, make arrangements to go on more dates to know more about him, his background and his family. Dating for the first time doesn’t give too much of a head start to decide things too soon. So take your time to know the person.

Some tips to know if the guy you’ve dated is the right person for you:

a.	Observe the way he treats the ladies in his family like his sister, mother etc. He has been brought up to treat women this way and he will invariably treat you the same way. If you find his treatment of women not to be too satisfactory, then its time to let go. Never get into a relationship with the aim of changing a person. A good relationship involves accepting the person for what they are.
b.	Value men who are chivalrous. Even though it is circa 2007, women still like to be treated like a queen. Not that it means you have to be chaperoned around all the time. Small things like holding the door for you can bring happiness. Be mature enough to know the difference between chivalry and chauvinism. If you think you are with a guy who feels you need to be looked after and bossed around all the time, you can show him the door.
c.	A guy with ambition is always a better bet. It is a sign of responsibility for he believes in himself and has the grit to work towards his dream. It is also suggestive of the fact that he can support a family ably.
d.	Don’t fall for a guy just because he looks good. Beauty is only skin deep and you need some one who can be mentally energising too. You need to be with someone who can hold a conversation on any general topic.
e.	Lastly, he must be faithful and not afraid to commit. This you will come to know as time passes by. Don’t be in a hurry to jump into matrimony. Wait until you are cent percent sure that he is the guy for you.
f.	The guy must not be afraid to express his feelings. He must be sensitive to your feelings. This however does not mean you marry a guy who has shed gallons of tears before you even considered shedding one.

Some precautions which must be taken by women especially when they are dating for the first time are listed below. With the increase in rate of date related crimes like date rape etc, it is very important that these guidelines are followed in order to have a pleasant and a safe evening.

a.	If dating involves alcoholic drinks, steer clear from them. You do not know your date that well and hence it is not too wise to accept drinks from strangers. A dope may have been added. However, if you have to drink, limit the amount consumed. Don’t get so drunk that you lose your sense of thinking. Drunken women often become victims to harassment and other unsocial behaviour for they are very vulnerable in the drunken state.
b.	If you are dating for the first time, maintain your distance. Don’t get too intimate and send the wrong signals. Stay within your limits and make the limits known to the other person as well. Also stay mentally aware to catch any signs of aggression or danger. Women have a good intuitive sense, keep this sense alive.
c.	Group dating is always advisable if it is for the first time. This way, you have company and you can even keep guard for your female friends. It makes you feel more secure. This rule must especially be followed by youngsters below the age of twenty.
d.	As far as possible, avoid letting the date drive you back home. Return home either in your own vehicle or ask a trusted friend to pick you up. Don’t let the date stretch too late into the night.
e.	Avoid dating in secluded places as already discussed previously. Keeping the date at a public place where there are people and hence security is advisable for the first couple pf dates at least.
f.	Avoid provocative clothes. Don’t invite trouble. As clichéd as it may sound, make sure that from your part, you are not sending any signal to attract the wrong kind of behaviour from your date. It is always better to be safe.
g.	Carry a hand pen knife or a pepper spray as a mode of self defence in case of any untoward incident. Be equipped enough to deal with such situations.
h.	Avoid revealing personal information on the internet on the online dating sites.

Dating can be fun provided it is kept casual and light. The whole idea of dating is to have fun and share some good moments together. Avoid attaching too much of emotional importance on your first date. Expectations must be low for surprises however small they are always better than disappointment. Give time for the relationship to blossom and with the right moves, the relationship which kick starts with the first date is sure to bloom into a beautiful and a long lasting commitment.